Let me just start by saying that the last week was basically an eat-a-thon. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and sometimes....I wasn't even hungry. After about 4 days, I realized I wasn't feeding my body. I was feeding something else. There was a hole in my soul that I was trying to fill up. Luckily, I had an appointment with my life coach/therapist on Wednesday.
Background---I hadn't been in her office in a while. I have been working REALLY hard on myself in the last year and I was working through crap from my past that kept me stuck. Discomfort brings engagement. You've heard that to grow, you have get uncomfortable with where you are in your journey. I was very uncomfortable with where I was in my life. Most especially with my weight and I always knew I kept my weight as protection. Protection from what, you might ask? Well, protection from being hurt, from being seen, from just about anything my 17-year-old-self could possibly fear. And being hurt could be anything from an unrequited love to betrayal from a friend. You know when you're 17, you don't understand love and what it entails. You are certainly in the throws of learning about what real friendship is and who you can trust and who you can't. Everyone is scared, so instead of bonding together, you develop skin-deep friendships because no one trusts anyone. I could go on and on about this subject, but that is post for another day.
Ahem...back to the subject at hand. In the last week, I discovered that I was eating to protect myself from all of the emotions I was slowly unlocking. I was getting ready to unleash some anger from my past and vomit it all over my journal. I had been writing on the subject for a while. Trying different perspectives. Even stepping outside of the situations and viewing it as the 47 year-old adult and seeing the children who were involved. It takes great perspective (and courage) to view a personal situation. As I did this, I found myself. I found my 17-year-old self was still trying to protect herself from pain. I found that her drug of choice is food (I knew this already). The strong woman that I had become was seeing it for what it is. Seeing it for the first time with clarity and letting it go. There's still work to be done, but as Jane said, I need to remind my 17-year-old self that I am here now. I am strong and I will protect her.
All of this clarity this week has been great. I feel amazing. I didn't even care that I was up an entire pound this week. I knew where it came from and I knew that once I acknowledged it and let it go, I would also let go of that pound and more.
I often see people in our meetings struggling and I wonder if they have addressed the root of their weight. Nine times out of ten, the root of your weight is a bigger issue than your relationship with food. Food has merely become your drug of choice. I encourage you to start a journal. Get to the root of your eating habits. Why do you turn to food for comfort? If you have any other habits that tend to numb, you know there is an issue that needs to be addressed.
I'm off to a much better start this week, but not 100%. After all, this is the week we leave for Disney and I run my Half Marathon. There will be no weigh-in for next week, as I will be en route to Disney. I've tried to find meetings down there, but there aren't any close to the property. I will hope that I will see what I saw in January....and that was a 2 pound loss from my trip. The step counts and the being-too-busy to eat a lot helps when you are down there wanting a Dole Whip or a Mickey Pop.
Dig deep. Find your issue. Look it in the eye and let that shit go! You are stronger than you think!
***I have one of the BEST Life Coaches out there. She is hosting a workshop on Saturday, March 3, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. If you would like to Ignite Your Life, I urge you to sign up. Lunch is provided. It's also the BEST deal in the world. You can check it out on Facebook HERE.
Background---I hadn't been in her office in a while. I have been working REALLY hard on myself in the last year and I was working through crap from my past that kept me stuck. Discomfort brings engagement. You've heard that to grow, you have get uncomfortable with where you are in your journey. I was very uncomfortable with where I was in my life. Most especially with my weight and I always knew I kept my weight as protection. Protection from what, you might ask? Well, protection from being hurt, from being seen, from just about anything my 17-year-old-self could possibly fear. And being hurt could be anything from an unrequited love to betrayal from a friend. You know when you're 17, you don't understand love and what it entails. You are certainly in the throws of learning about what real friendship is and who you can trust and who you can't. Everyone is scared, so instead of bonding together, you develop skin-deep friendships because no one trusts anyone. I could go on and on about this subject, but that is post for another day.
Ahem...back to the subject at hand. In the last week, I discovered that I was eating to protect myself from all of the emotions I was slowly unlocking. I was getting ready to unleash some anger from my past and vomit it all over my journal. I had been writing on the subject for a while. Trying different perspectives. Even stepping outside of the situations and viewing it as the 47 year-old adult and seeing the children who were involved. It takes great perspective (and courage) to view a personal situation. As I did this, I found myself. I found my 17-year-old self was still trying to protect herself from pain. I found that her drug of choice is food (I knew this already). The strong woman that I had become was seeing it for what it is. Seeing it for the first time with clarity and letting it go. There's still work to be done, but as Jane said, I need to remind my 17-year-old self that I am here now. I am strong and I will protect her.
All of this clarity this week has been great. I feel amazing. I didn't even care that I was up an entire pound this week. I knew where it came from and I knew that once I acknowledged it and let it go, I would also let go of that pound and more.
I often see people in our meetings struggling and I wonder if they have addressed the root of their weight. Nine times out of ten, the root of your weight is a bigger issue than your relationship with food. Food has merely become your drug of choice. I encourage you to start a journal. Get to the root of your eating habits. Why do you turn to food for comfort? If you have any other habits that tend to numb, you know there is an issue that needs to be addressed.
I'm off to a much better start this week, but not 100%. After all, this is the week we leave for Disney and I run my Half Marathon. There will be no weigh-in for next week, as I will be en route to Disney. I've tried to find meetings down there, but there aren't any close to the property. I will hope that I will see what I saw in January....and that was a 2 pound loss from my trip. The step counts and the being-too-busy to eat a lot helps when you are down there wanting a Dole Whip or a Mickey Pop.
Dig deep. Find your issue. Look it in the eye and let that shit go! You are stronger than you think!
***I have one of the BEST Life Coaches out there. She is hosting a workshop on Saturday, March 3, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. If you would like to Ignite Your Life, I urge you to sign up. Lunch is provided. It's also the BEST deal in the world. You can check it out on Facebook HERE.
It is so hard to be fierce with yourself. I'm proud of you! And glad you have a great support system in your coach.
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