#MeToo

So, I have read a ton of explanations, excuses, and other things on Facebook about the #MeToo movement.  Things from, "I stand with you," to "Let the past stay in the past," and "Let that shit go." 

Let me be the first to say that any woman who has been harassed and/or assaulted and is WILLING to post #MeToo has already put the experience in the past. She has been through more therapy than she cares to mention.  She has done everything in her power to let that shit go.  And honestly, most women never tell anyone until it spills out in therapy....if it even happens there.  Its then you realize it was THAT SHIT that's been causing all the problems because you haven't dealt with it.  And trust me, you can stuff that down as deep and as far away from your thoughts as you can, but it's still there.  You can cover it up with food or drugs or alcohol, but it's still there.

No one wants to hold on to it and wallow in it.  It's a horrifying experience and one that you hope you will never encounter again.  It ruins your trust in relationships.  It makes you want to feel invisible.  Hide and shy away from any attention a man who only has good intentions might offer you.  It might cause you to feel guarded.....ALL...THE....TIME.

I remember babysitting one time and before they left, the dad, unknown to his wife, told me, "you look great. You look really good."  I can't remember how old I was, but I was under 18.  I can still remember how that made me feel.....UNCOMFORTABLE.  Uncomfortable in my own skin.  Uncomfortable in a home I had always "made myself at home in" because I felt safe.  One comment ruined it. It was the beginning of me wanting to be invisible.  I babysat for LOTS of kids and I am not here to make someone stand trial for a comment made to me over 30 years ago.  It wasn't the worst thing to happen to me, but it is something I remember.

I was hesitant to put my own #MeToo on Facebook.  I mean, it hasn't been something I accepted most of my life (remember when I said you can try to cover it with food, drugs, and alcohol?  I tried).  I am sure my friends and family may have more questions than answers.  I didn't do it because I didn't want to be left out or because I wanted to support others.  I did it because I have lived through it and came out the other side stronger.  Comments and advances are something that have been accepted in society and it has to STOP.  The only way it can stop is to stand up to it.  When you share something deeply personal, you never know who might read it and think....if she can do it, I can, too.  Be brave because it's NOT okay.

If you are a woman and you have never been harassed, congratulations. Hell, for that matter, if you are a man and have never been on the receiving end of an unwanted sexual advance, congratulations.  I don't mean this in a smart-ass way, I just mean....you are damn lucky.